season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
