What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
