The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
