I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
