Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
