Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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