I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
