i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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