So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
