Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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