he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize