just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
