who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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