I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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