Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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