I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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