Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
