I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
