It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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