This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
