We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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