I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
