Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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