what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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