I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
