WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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