i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
