What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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