it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize