My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
