hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
