Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
