I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
