Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize