I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
