Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
