is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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