Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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