I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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