adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.