I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
