he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize