is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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