I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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