Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
