so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
