okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
