omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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