Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
