i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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