He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
