it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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