Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
