big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
