nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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