grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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