so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
