Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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