I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
