I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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