Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
