The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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