no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
