I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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