In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.