I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament