i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her