I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this will be a night to untag.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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