did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize