You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
