Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
