I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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